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Thursday, January 05, 2006


If you were taken aback when the IITians unveiled their hornier side at an event in Mood Indigo ’05 , or probably raised an eyebrow on noticing the proximity among the VJTI guys making out together (the solution of a problem () or felt like a winner seeing a group of guys from VESIT dancing alone at the back, at a DJ nite…THEN LET ME OFFICIALLY WELCOME U TO THE WORLD OF ENGINEERING, MATE.

An average engineer while coping up with natural and self developed SEM-STRESS and the other ‘wannabe-corporate’- society activities tends to miss out on the “highs” and “lows” of life and literally so, given that the ‘chick-factor’ has been sucked out of their lives by dementors. Indeed, lack of ‘gals’ (u ought to get this 1 right!) has been topping the charts of ‘ Top 10 woes’ of engineers since ages. Even the forceful reservation for women ,which is highly resented by the guys during admissions just to repent later, by the government couldn’t raise fruit. But this ain’t the scene throughout. There are some colleges who enjoy the continuous ‘streaming ‘ of galz at an amazing rate of 5 kbps or more (kbps = kissed babes per sem; a unit of ‘flirt rate’ where kissed= met/bumped into (). Some of these dreamlands are TSEC, DJ Sanghvi, RGITand KJ Somaiya. When it comes to admissions , the folks avoid the ranks and convince their parents about their proved futility somehow and try their best to get into one of these; of course there are some who think otherwise (lets name them the “otherwise kinds”). As a result the asking rate , both scores and moolah have risen drastically in these colleges.

So now there are two possibilities : a) You get into a dreamland b)You are the otherwise kinds.

Case (a): A dream-lander finds himself oscillating between a fixed bandwidth, that varies with different colleges, with a continuously varying ‘flirt rate’ until he bumps into the ‘chosen one’ from whereon he attains saturation i.e. his ‘flirt rate’ exponentially decays to 0kbps. Many fall into saturation within 4 years of education , but those left out fly away for an MS. The majority here often exhibits an inclination towards management studies as they’ve managed a contrasting variety of things in life. Another characteristic feature of these dreamland colleges is an upbeat cultural fest. which has no relevance at all to their course.

Case (b) : The otherwise kinds who fall prey to the rankings and give into the luring institute brand value don’t have much to oscillate between as the bandwidths in these regions is pretty low. Some do saturate and most fly out. The interesting aspect about these, who form the majority, is the evolution of a varied species and a plethora of theories on topics like gals, relationships, virginity, life et all. The absence of gals in their lives gives rise to poets, painters, cartoonists, bloggers n writers (like me). The theories vary from mere classification (see box) to “words of weirdom” and from ace concepts like “a drink a day keeps the shrink away” to “fantasy in education” (Eg Rati AgNO3). Apart from getting into poetry n writing, there are other ways of getting rid of the lacklass ,like say organizing a fest and inviting non-engg colleges, busting into non-engg fests – especially the pronites where they could bump into gals just to exchange numbers n email ids. Most of them fly out or hunt in for an MS/MBA/Mtech and have a blast of a ball later.


An IIT classification of gals / babes :

AA = Awesome n Amazing (imaginary/fictitious)
BB = Beauty n Brains (rare !)
CC = Cute Chick (the best bet)
DD = Damsel in Distress (avoid!)
EE = Exotic Eve (avoid if possible)

PS : AA to EE are grades in IIT


All said and done, the next time u plan a visit to a non-dreamland engg. college or bump into an engineer at a pronite, plz remember ur ‘flirt rate’ and of course a fake email id !!

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We IITians have been known for excellence in whatever we’ve done .”, righteously said Prof. Ashok Mishra ,Director IIT Bombay at the inauguration of the biggest cult fest in the country -MOOD INDIGO which arrived with the spirit of water, a cool bubbly blue mascot “SPLASH”, and a budget of around Rs 45 lks to rock the folks royally with its “AQUA” theme.

With around 30 events per day, divided into categories like LA, FA, Music and dance, dramatics, informals, talks+workshops and proshows , the fest seemed to put the average participant in quite a dilemma and left the spectators totally puzzled- which way to go.

Mood I manifested a myriad of effective workshops conducted by industry pros, some creamy ones being the Tango wrkshp by Anand Majumdar and the Grooming wrkshp by Raymond. ”Festivals like these give us great amount of exposure and let us learn a great deal of new things”, said the bubbly Prerna Narang from Cummins College,Pune.

The informals were a blast for the ‘window-shoppers’ ,who took away much more than their expectations –thanks to the benevolent sponsors. The food stalls , which comprised of a good range of branded and desi khaana , were strategically placed near the informals venue to ensure business and it did work out. Halla bol –street play and Hurricane-street dance ,the most popular PA events witnessed some ground-breaking performances .
The OC lived up to their word as a few of the major events were seen during the day this year. Hysteria: The battle of DJs saw some cool mixes being played which dragged the crowd on the floor right under the SUN !! Livewire elims also ran during the day much to the surprise of many a wannabe headbangers. Mantra-the Hindi band contest ,also a day event, just seemed to show the rising momentum in the Hindi/desi rock scenario.

Proshows by Shuffle Deamons (Canada),Indian Ocean, Shaan, Sceptre, Vayu, HFC had the crowd up there till late10 pm, the deadline being followed strictly. However, it was surprising to see a more than decent crowd turn over for the classical nite. The IISc attack had led to a tightened security on the last day forcing many to spend hours in the queue cursing the organizers (‘orgies’ as they call themselves () who took hours just to frisk people into the half empty OAT. As a result, many missed the Livewire finals which saw great performances by bands like ‘Access Denied’ and ‘Bhayanak Maut’ (the winners).Access Denied’s Ashish (IIT B) won the best guitarist prize: A Kramer worth 18K from Furtados.

“Pride is more important to me as money can be made up any time in ur life”, answered Rahul Dash(IITB) to a judge, minutes before he was declared MR. MOOD I –at the most sadistic event in the fest!! ”Hey if pride were more important to u, then what the hell are u doin here ?” , rightly asked the anchor Garry. The event was more of a puppet show , the crowd being controlled by totally by ex Mr Mood I :Swami Thakkar ,who’ll remind u of King Kong. He typed on the screen and commanded, the audience obeyed and paid respect. The fate of the candidates (who couldn’t see the screen) was in his hands. Well, this was seriously the wrong place if you were a non-IITian or a gal as the desperate IITians showered their vulgar side on both. Constant shrieks of ”Are u free tonite?” haunted the audi and the screen too; what more even the ex Mr Mood Is (all IITans) asked the hostess or the female judges the same damn thing when called upon (is it lack of vocab or a proof of their heavy-hornier sides?) The sweet li’ll Ateeya Khan, crowned Ms mood I had an experience that generally most cute gals face when a Virar fast halts by at the platform. Who cares a damn about his virginity!”, exclaimed Shweta Krishnan from Rochester university, after listening to a clichéd answer from Arvind Iyyer (IITB) the runner up. Krishnan, like many other non-IITians seemed to be pissed off with this ‘cheap’ attitude evolving out of the “cream students” in the nation..

Catharsis- the play adopted from PAF (performing art festival) dealt with a sensitive story of drug addicts and their rehab process, but failed miserably even after some excellent performances by Victor and Manav the protagonists and Prabhav the comedian thanks to the monotonous direction.

Hats off to the OC, who did one helluva job in making the fest :right from getting the Mega sponsors to managing the junta from over 300 colleges inclusive of their lodging. Apart from a good chunk of the 600acres land at their disposal, the key factors driving these chaps into success is their spirit full of confidence as quoted by their director and the mutual cooperation cum exclusive independence by the staff for the students which lacks big time in other colleges making their festivals look like more of a sham with poking profs and a shrieking staff. They roped in the industry biggies to sponsor them and I bet none of them would think twice to sponsor the event again. The marketing ,publicity and scheduling of the event was spot on as usual and that’s probably why folks from as far as Delhi ,Bangalore and Chennai turned up. The overall trophy was taken away by IITB followed by Rajhans college Delhi and KMC Delhi.

Certainly coming out of this eventful fest one would not deny exclaiming: MOOD HIGH !!

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Monday, January 02, 2006


Come 31st of December and it’s a boom time in the economy as the junta is all geared up to rock their way into the new year .The streets are full of banners speaking more about the coming parties than the new IPO or the sale at Shopper’s Stop. Every one has plans to make up or speak up and “What’s on the 31st?” is the talk of the town. Whatever be the logic or let there be none, its simply a PARTY TIME !!
So lets chk out some more popular kinds of parties on the New years eve:

1)The crowd racker party (CRP)
This is the most popular one among the typical folks who want their stuff on the platter. From 5-star hotels to the gully pubs everyone wants a year-end bonus so each one of them has something in store for you. Belly dancers from Yugoslavia ,a hot gal DJ, cuties doing flair at the bar you name it and they have it for you. They’ll charge you prices proportional to their brand values and you pay just to get into an over-crowded neon lit place short of food but overflowing with vodka!! And here is where the people booze their way into the new year.

2)The private house party (PHP):
This one is more often done by the folks who prefer having a ball and holding it too :) . They book a bungalow by the beach or have it at their place if its big enough. Only close friends/family invited. Make sure to be there as these parties always treat you big without burning a hole down your pockets (unless off course if you’re hosting it). In certain places friends go dutch to host such parties and customize every aspect of it.

3)The lukha party (LP)
Don’t feel like getting into the crowd? No invites for PHP either? Hey get your bike out on the road (but make sure only after 11pm) and vroom your way through .
These parties are the ones that add to the chaos on New years eve with increasing traffic every year. Well its usually full of stags and some cozy couples in search of that privacy.

4)The spiritual party (SP):
These ones comprised of those grown up above boozing and more into the new year. These types of parties are meant for ppl who believe that a new year is a new beginning. They enter the new year meditating/singing bhajans/chanting hymns et all.

Now that we’ve talked about the new year parties lets get in to the numerous new years that we celebrate. Surprised!! Hey Im not talking crap but its just a fact that in a single year (according to any calendar) we do celebrate more than one NEW YEAR.

1)The English New YEAR:
Celebrated universally on the 1st JANUARY. This year the new year arrived a second late (GOOD LORD !!))

2) Your Birthday:
Many treat their birthdays as a new beginning and so this is like a new year again. People make resolutions just to put them away (you’ll know why later).

3)The Regional New Year:
Various religions/castes have their own traditional new year. For Eg: The Guddi Padwa for the Maharashtrians, Cheti Chand for the Sindhis, Baisakhi for the Sikhs et all.

4)The Diwali New Year:
Popular among the Indians, this New year is marked a day or two after Diwali , which is celebrated by one and all in India and also by some folks abroad.

To sum it up there are four major NEW YEARS in a year with four different popular ways to party it out. So if you’re weak enough in math you’ll find a minimum of 16 reasons to party out . Another peculiar point is that on an average, a new year arrives in 1-4 months time . So, if one makes a new year resolution one has to compulsorily break it to make a new one for the next new year and that’s why the adage goes ”Resolutions are made to be broken up”

Hmm if you’ve observed carefully, I’ve answered an important question asked by many across the globe. So what say ? Feel free to name the award that comes to your mind.

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