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Sunday, March 12, 2006

ACKREDATION

[You need some time in peace to get this one right]
That is how the term accreditation has been conveniently phrased by the junta on my campus. The term was on everybody’s tongue-tip and was used as blatantly as possible. It spiced many a conversations and salted a few fights, sparked many a rebels and hopefully should give many of us a chance to wish the college admin.: “HAPPY REALIZATON !”

Well, when the branch in charge walked in to announce the dates of the accreditation committee’s ( hereafter referred to as Ac-Comm) visit to the college the students were more than just elated, but sooner did we realize that this was just a façade. Three days before the Ac-Comm’s visit, the college suddenly seemed to beat the rate of change in the computing industry as every minute something totally new came up in the 5-storey building. I wonder what Gordon Moore would have said on that!:

MOORE”S LAW BEATEN DOWN:

Split a/cs, direction signboards , boards boasting about the college vision and mission, departmental details outside labs, charts and time tables within labs, new aquaguard installed in the canteen and other aquaguards being connected to the respective coolers, a building being painted in record 2 days, the quadrangle floor being leveled overnight, some lecture rooms and labs being painted from within, journals being corrected instead of being signed, assignments and test being given and done for the heck of it, power peons and bais beginning to smile exhibhiting courtesy, colorful curtains started flying on the lab windows to save the students from heat, the ‘neelkamal’ types plastic chairs being swapped by the plush red springy-spongy movable chairs for the lecturers (err sorry, profs), new equipment being imported fast and how into the labs , the student council being shown and explained the college accounts, student representative committees being formed and trained to present before the Ac-Comm., certificates being collected from students to boast about a branch (sigh , lemme breath a bit.) .

Yeah I was a part of one such training meet and was also among the selected students to be ‘presented ‘ in front of the Ac-Comm.. And this is where the PSEUDONORM lies:

FROM THE HORSE’S MOUTH:
Acredation is as important to us as it is to you (yeah, rite who gets to hike the fee?) from your point of view you would get good employment and better companies would some on campus (haven’t you learnt a new trick?), a better brand of the college would be created in the industry(there you are). No the fee structure and acredation are 2 different aspects altogether there is no connection between them (I think we’re the first one’s this morning) Don’t worry, all these are budgeted expenditures [we are not looking for a ROI] (There you’re, chor ki dadi mein tinka. Boss if all of the above are budgeted then was your finance officer sleeping these years, or was he training in book-keeping?) . Now when you meet the committee, you have to behave and speak well about the institute ( Buddy,we’ve got ample matter to speak more than just well about the insti.). If you find that there is scope for improvement in certain areas tell them that you have approached us and the matter is being looked upon (is there an equivalence between ‘upon’ and ‘over’?).


THEY CAME THEY SANG AND WE (GOT) BANGED:

Then there was the D-day and came the Ac-Comm. full of IITians and NITians,their background was sufficient to send shivers amongst all of us. Yet , I found many of the staff members more than just confident but one of them had predicted the fate which is yet to be declared as he has seen what it is to be groomed in a college of caliber. For A change students saw their teachers giving a viva. Our princi was taken aback when asked about the existence of a sexual harassment cell (She mustn’t have thought about it as she always banks upon the ‘culture’ that the college seems to be preserving {at least on the vision statement}). A girl fainted when the committee shot a question at her, but many others answered brilliantly to the committee except this BE kids who were placed in the Digital Design Lab to show off that project work goes on and eclipse the SEs from the committee. The Ac-Com guy straight asked him what they were doing in somebody else’s lab during lecture hours, and then came their viva which was enough to squeeze out their smartness for life. The SEs in the ECAD lab tackled the questions well thanks to their foundation laid by this very amazing prof of ours, however they went dumb as the Ac-Comm guy struck them with realization on this question “Is this what you pay 54K for”, he said pointing at the chain of 4 dusty computers with non-funct mice!!

The comment was enough to strike a realization amongst the masses: that we are the true proprietors of the institute as students. The lack of this realization is the root cause why we have been living through power peons and being treated as prisoners. A student walking in late has to wait for an hour with the watchman, then he’d be pulled out of the lecture room for a lecture with the princi on time management and culture preservation. But before that, he’ll have to assure the prof in class that his train wont run late the next time ( yeah, my pop owns the railways !). Fed up with the new recruits in college who teach to gain work-ex for an MBA, the student cant go home nor can he study in the library, all he has to do is jump of some wall to get back home and study in peace- making him a robber in his own damn house! A cultural secretary who has to literally beg the admin to allow the students to have a JAM session which apparently goes against the culture add to it the justification of a cultural festival in an engg college: these were the things that the Ac-Comm were lookin for as they were smart enough to judge acads and infrastructure. I know this is not new to you if you’re a fellow student, but there is a lot more to it if you’re not.

I hope this rebellion arisen by the Ac-Comm, takes some shape ( I think the BEs are the best one’s to take initiative here) and we do something to be proud of the institute when we refer of it as our Alma Mater!!


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2 comments:

wise donkey said...

interesting perspective..i am aware of the prob.. but i am not sure if i know everything on it..

but the toons are excellent i loved them both :)

AGENTV said...

Hey man this was one gr8 summary.
I totally agree on all points and its nice that u maintained confidentiality abt college name.It will surely protect "OUR BRAND VALUE"(hehehe!).

I also noticed that u used the word "façade", gr8.
all in all 9/10.

and delete those spams yaar.